I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
