You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
