I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
