this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
