How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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