oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
