Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
