i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
