I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My vagina just clenched in fear
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
