Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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