I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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