I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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