I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
