I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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