in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
