every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
