Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
