You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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