She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
