This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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