She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
