ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
