it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
