so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
