If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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