There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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