You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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