just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
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I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
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You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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