can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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