PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
