sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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