worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
