How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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