she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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