Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
