i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
what day is it and did you see me today?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's never too late to be topless.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
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