It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize