dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
