Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
50% drunk capacity currently
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
