Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize