now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
How does one acquire holy water?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
