It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
