you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize