I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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