I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
