Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
