i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
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It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
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Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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