sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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