just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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