oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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