I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize