I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
