We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
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Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
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I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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