How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize