Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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