the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
