mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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