I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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