I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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