i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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