Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
