i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
