Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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