The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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