I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
