just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
