sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
