Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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